Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Full Disclosure - My First Post

It's official, I have been completely sucked into the blogosphere. Design, food, fashion...with each click of the mouse the more riveted I become. The time has come for me to resign from my position as observer and transition into my new role as contributor. Thus, I have to begin with a plea...please be forgiving of my current bush league status. With that being said, here I sit wracking my brain for clever things to say, solicitous observations, thoughtful opinions, and so on; however, what I really should do is provide a little background on how I got here. Here goes it...

In many facets of my life, I've been somewhat of a late bloomer. Steeped in my own dreamy neverland, I recall being perfectly content laying on the cool blades of grass in the backyard of my childhood home gazing into the atmosphere while trying to formulate figures of pigs and cows masked as layers of clouds. No one ever accused me of having lofty goals. It took me some time to get here (not exactly sure where "here" is), but I finally purchased my first home two years ago at the age of 40.

As many home buyers do, I viewed somewhere in the neighborhood of 80-90 homes over the course of a few months. Calling some of them a "home" would be a stretch, others were just okay and a few were outside my financial realm. One of the first homes on the list to see was a two-story, crisp white, colonial-style adorn with whimsical cherry red shutters and a glossy ebony front door. Sounds charming, right? Wrong! As the front door slowly navigated open I was greeted with an overwhelming stench of heavy cigarette smoke (and not just the type of smoke saturating the air from the not-quite-smothered butt swimming in its ashes in a polluted tray, but the kind that has partied in the walls for YEARS), and something that resembled wet dog and maple syrup. The torn wallpaper was riddled with faded burnt red and orange flowers, images of a smiley-faced sun along with some religious shibboleth scattered about. I thought to myself, I need not go any further. And they say curb appeal is everything? This place had the appeal of a shitbox!! Not even Pigpen would live here. Things can only look up from here.

A few months later, my realtor and I walked into a house with the knowledge it was currently serving as a rental to three girls in their 20s. With the collective of beer bottles and pizza boxes, sticky kitchen counter tops (from dried up fruity alcoholic beverages, I hope), dirty clothes scattered about all of the bedrooms and a hair-clogged bathtub shower, needless to say, it struck me that perhaps the three little piggies may reside here. But, believe it or not, I finally found MY house.

First offer accepted within 48 hours!  Hmmmmm....that should have been my first clue that everything was about to go down the toilet.  But no, I was on a bargainer's high--a 1950s ranch, corner lot, 3 bed, 2 bath, great yard in an established neighborhood for a steal.  I got my mortgage in line, gave notice to my Landlord, packed up my belongings, and the day before closing the Seller (let's just call him the lying shitbag) informed my realtor that this would be a short sale and he needed to get the purchase amount approved by his Lender.  WTF!  Needless to say, I wasn't going to be closing the next day.  Oh, and just one other little detail, I HAD NOWHERE TO LIVE!!  The only thing the S.B. did right was that he offered for me to live in the house rent-free until we actually closed; so I took a leap of faith and moved into the house in June 2009.

Fast forward to September, still living rent-free, the S.B. had finally gotten the bank to approve a number that was about $1,000 higher than my initial offer.  I could live with that seeing as the house was appraised higher than what I was to purchase it for.  Closing was about to be set up when, oh, yet another "hiccup" came to surface.  Uhhhh, a second mortgage that had a contractors lien against it.  REALLY???  It was time to go to my dad, a rather brilliant attorney who--from the goodness of his heart--decided to try to help the S.B. resolve this matter with the 2nd mortgage Lender.  The matter was resolved and I closed the end of October...finally.

Here it is in its current state, however, it is in the process of being painted.  There is plenty of updating to be done--almost every room.  I guess what got me here was a desire to share my journey of the transformation of my little jewel.  Of course, that takes mucho dinero so it may be a little slow going.  There will be copious amounts of sweat equity built into my casa.  Stay tuned.   

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